Study and work

Life recently is being more hectic than before. I guess life sucks sometimes. Bad news created lots of frustrations, but they also caused me to reflect on myself over and over again. I had been struggling with assignments and studies recently, not to mention the failure of securing a job. As time goes by, I realised I have gradually lost interest in studies. Maybe my brain is a bit too saturated, or maybe is the structure of the course that I dislike, maybe I am just tired. Anyway, I am definitely not going for a PhD and I will start the new phase of my life after this. It is probably the first time in life that I look forward to work compare to study. Hence, I am quite ready to leave education now, maybe also should be ready to leave this country.

Do not get me wrong, losing passion in rigid education system does not imply that I lost passion in learning new things. Although there are a lot of things to learn in universities, I would want to have a chance to explore in work life. I believe there are a lot more things to learn outside my current circle. I always aimed to work in an investment bank, there is no doubt on that. I tried, but eventually I failed. I admit that I am not good enough, but maybe in terms of willingness to contribute for the bank I might top quite a lot of the others. Oh well, this does not count anyway. I am at the edge of failing all that I have applied here, which made me quite disappointed and frustrated with myself as well. I certainly tried, but maybe I do not try hard enough. 

What's next? Got my first invitation for a chat/ interview from a company in Malaysia today. If everything goes well, I will be back in a few months time. I do not actually know which country or which decision is better. I did care about salary quite a lot last time, but now I did care about the UK because the financial system is way more developed compare to Malaysia. There are more things to learn here I have to admit, but my home country is certainly not bad either. I hope I can figure out which part of me that I would want to develop in the next stage of my life. Most importantly, I hope I enjoy what I will be doing. Meanwhile, time to focus on the current and then plan for the future later.