Teenage dream comes true

The day has finally arrived. After my decision of returning to Malaysia after studies, I was actively searching for football match tickets, hoping to find a reasonable ticket price & watch my last football match here (unless I have the chance again some time in the long future). Spent a few days searching through every single possible website, ended up purchasing a reasonably priced ticket for Arsenal vs West Brom on 21st April 2016, 7.45pm.

I have supported this club since 2004. I guess it was since the invincibles got the Premier League title without losing a single match for the whole season. From the era of Thierry Henry, to the following eras of the youngsters such  as Cesc Fabregas, Robin van Persie, until now when the team are formed by stars like Alexis Sanchez, Mesut Ozil, Petr Cech, & so forth. 12 years, what a long wait before I finally watched a match at the Emirates.

The tube journey time doubled on that day due to the massive crowd at the stadium, which caused me to be 10 minutes late & also missed the first goal. When I finally got to my seat, when I looked down at the field, I felt a sense of joy, of finally fulfilling my dream. I enjoyed the stadium, enjoyed watching the match, and also enjoy cheering for the team. Well, I think I am still like a small kid sometimes, with such as small dream compared to things like traveling around the world, have a mega wedding, etc.

Night at the stadium

I believe this is one of the best stadium

Cheering for every Arsenal attack

Alexis preparing for the freekick

He scored! :D. Congratulated by teammates

Half time, bench players warming up

Mandatory picture

Well looks ok, anyway thanks uncle! 

Final score! 2-0! COYG!

Maximum adrenaline never end I guess. Ended up walking 40 minutes back to King's Cross Station after the match before taking the tube back home. Will always support the team, just because I really like the style of playing. Meanwhile, hope Arsenal can get some title soon. After so many years, still hoping.

That's the end of my trip to the Emirates. One of the days that I will always remember.

Into the final stage

After my decision on future job, now is the time for me to think about how to fill up my time before working. I had been experiencing quite a bit of dilemma recently. The most recent one is about my decision of not going into investment banking. Yeah, I have to admit I was always going towards that direction, mainly because that is the place where I can make a lot of money. As time goes by, as I know more about the industry, I will say that I hate it more than I like it. The dark side of it, is so obvious if you seriously look into it. Another fact is, not all the people in the industry know about what is going on there. The CDOs,the bespoke tranche opportunity, and so forth, we will see what good/ bad these will bring.

Moving forward from that, constantly thinking of ways to improve myself, probably as a person. Not doing CFA at this moment, screw it I am not doing it because a lot of them are doing it now. So, I had been working on another side of me recently, hopefully I get to achieve what I aim for at the end of my stay in the UK.

Here's what I am currently doing:
1. Continue reading daily

2. Learning a new language

3. Attend classes for other modules

Last but not least, I am on my way to achieve my dream very soon!! The reason why I come to the UK will be revealed soon. 

Finally decided

The dilemma is real
Delayed my decision again...
But out of a sudden, in just a day time
Everything suddenly becomes clearer
In fact, I'm clear and will be able to confirm what I want
Got lots of advice from close friends
& thanks to my lovely parents that provided me with great advice
That took their time to facetime me just to tell me about their thoughts
At the end of the day, I made up my mind
I know where I want to go, where's my next destination

Finally, everything ended
For the past 6 months
Experienced 31 rejections, before getting a job offer
At first, still want to go into banks
Maybe because I was always trying to go into that direction
Maybe because joining this industry will make me richer
Maybe because I always look up towards Warren Buffett
A lot of maybes...

After a lot of ups and downs
After days of getting up every morning just to check emails
After doing tons of interviews & application stages
I'm done
Decided to leave the UK, basically means I will earn way lesser
Decided to opt for a lower pay job, is a new change for me
I think, I found myself
I know where I want to go now

I have very strong requirements towards myself
I have some principles that I always hold
One of it, is being genuine
Being honest/ genuine to my future employer
I believe this proved I'm different from most of the people around
Besides, I always want to contribute to the company
& secretly want to contribute to the development of the country
This is some sort of dream that I hardly tell people around me
Mainly because I do not need/ want to tell everyone I want to contribute
I believe actions speak more than words

Decided where I will be in the near future
Finally can think about other aspects of my life
Will accept the offer tomorrow, & get rid of this dilemma
That troubled me for a very long while
Next step will be what I want to develop in these few months
What should I improve on?
What can I do, to make my next few months more meaningful?
Was planning to work part time
But if I don't gain much in the end besides money
I don't see the point of doing it I guess

When I still have the chance to pick what I want
I will, although I am being a badass
Making decisions that minority will make
Making choices that will gain doubts from the majority
But I think, that's me
That's the real me
& no point changing myself
To fit into other's dreams and expectations

太好，是好是坏

罗马走了一趟回来

生活中的历练和领悟也多了

有些时候事情必须经历过才能真的明白

我一直想回国的原因当中

有一个原因对我来说还是挺重要的

那就是

从比较小的国家来，从比较不先进的国家来

比较能够吃苦，也比较会珍惜

从一个比较好的环境过来

要求的总会比别人多

因为已经习惯过好的生活

比如说，已经习惯了高效的环境

稍微要等一点点，就无法忍耐了

或者说已经习惯了非常方便的交通

堵车或需要步行久一些就无法忍耐了

人都是这样

总是需要更好的，更快的

但有些时候我们都忘了

不是每件事都能够得偿所愿的

可能小时候只要我们要什么父母都会尽力满足吧

也就造成了比较不会珍惜的一种状况

上个星期收到一个好坏参半的消息

收到了一个job offer

是还挺好的，我也没什么不满意的

但我还在等着一个

可能是我比较想要的一个吧

所以现在是在一个挺纠结的状态下

好朋友拿到想要的工作了我也替他感到开心

有一方面呢，我一直是没做好的

那就是感情这方面

当然现在是空窗期

可是情绪上有些时候还是会挺失控的

会有一些夜晚我会惦记你

现在只要是你跟我聊我也可能会稍微迟一些睡

我也不知道我对你是什么样的一个感觉

你向前走了，我也不应该留在原地了

你是我之前想留下的原因之一

现在我已经没有想留下的原因，所以不留应该会是我最终的选择

这几年来我一直想带给身边的人更多的一些快乐

想付出的更多

我还在努力着，不过我觉得我做得不错了

希望继续坚持着这样的想法

Inspired by the rabbit

Had been addicted to a song recently
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6rP-YP4c5I
So impressed with the movie Zootopia
One of the rare animated movie that I am bothered to watch
"I won't give up. No I won't give in
Till I reach the end and then I'll start again
No, I won't leave. I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail"-----------Try Everything, Shakira

Life had been a roller coaster
& now, I believe I had took a step forward
I treat interviews differently nowadays, maybe after too many failures
or maybe I have no idea what to do besides just being me
I have learnt a lot from my interviewers
Really appreciate all the sharing, and I thoroughly enjoyed my interviews
Clearing my mind from the misty money sky
I know why I want to go home, I narrowed down my choices
& I believe, this is the choice that I want
Doubts will be flying around me again when I get back
But if I know what I want, I won't stop

I might not be earning pounds
I might not be as successful as people thought of me
I might not be starting from a high position
But I will gear up soon
& you know what?
For those arrogant dudes that ever look down on people that are less smart
You wait there, I will let you know how to play catch up

I'm 23
The age where university life is going to end soon
The age where dreams will be starting
People are not limitless
But sometimes we have to go beyond the limit
& forget about the past, the game starts now

Disappointments are not the end of the world

Holidays are not really meant to be holidays
That is what I have learnt from the past years
Have been searching through jobs here and there
But still, yet to get, even one option to decide

I have to say, I was pretty confident with one of it
Did an interview for a company on Tuesday
It went pretty well, my essay went pretty well
My online assessments should be good as well
Yet, I have no idea why am I not selected for the next stage
It is kind of very demotivating, I will say
Anyway, gone is gone
No point thinking about it

Did another assessment centre on Friday
It is my second assessment centre in life
But the first for company from Malaysia
Oh well, did not enjoy the tests at all
They are way more difficult than I thought
The essay, probably went quite wrong as well
Meanwhile, the interview was fantastic
Stayed longer for a chat with the interviewer

I appreciate the learning experience from the interview
Certainly, I am not good enough in terms of knowledge
But I really take every single opportunity to learn
Asking her about the difference between working here and back home
Asking her about the difference between working as an audit and her role now
Asking her about the details of my potential future role
Asking her about her life experience
I found it very intuitive
If that is my next destination, I am quite sure I will try to pick her as my mentor

Well, still got some to work on for the next few days
Really hope that I am able to get something
At this moment, I will say that my thinking will be inclined towards going back home
Compare to remaining here for a short while
I hope I can start at one of the firms that come here this week
As I am sure, I will be able to contribute
If there is an opportunity

Moving forward
Instead of remaining at the same spot
& overtaken by others