My future direction

Half a year here, half a year more I will be leaving this stage of my life. Where will I be heading to? That is actually a very good question. Indeed, a very good question since I started my journey here. My aim as usual, is to start my working life here. But sometimes things do not go according to plan. Maybe is the failure of execution, or maybe is the failure due to lack of awareness. I can't tell why it happens, but I can do tell that my hopes are considered as faded. I am just waiting for the outcome of my last few shots, still hope they might hit the target though.

Anyway, that's not really my main concern anymore. The reason I paused my applications is because after those experiences, I started reflecting on myself again. Why I am rejected? Why? Why people can get interviews and so many chances in top tier banks, but I don't? Am I not good enough? Am I not qualified enough? What skills do I lack of? How can I let my future employer to know that I'm the right person to employ? These questions just kept going round and round in my head, without any answers. If there is one thing that can request for, I will request for a detail feedback every single time.

At the same time, life moves on. The clock won't stop, and I certainly can't too. I tried to immerse myself more in studies, but I have been repelling new information most of the time as well. Maybe there is not enough capacity, or maybe I do need a break, to get back all the motivation and drive again. I need to keep reminding myself that I shouldn't forget why I decided to come here at the first place, and I need to fully utilised what I have now to improve myself, in terms of knowledge and also improve as a person.

I have been through what I desired until now mostly. From joining a not well-known secondary school, till a prestigious university here. I got the chance to study what I like (Physics & Maths), worked in an industry that I always aimed for (Insurance), and now I am studying a finance related subject. Maybe Psychology or Economics in the future? Who knows. Got the chance to live in different cities, got the chance to be independent, got the chance to do a face-to-face interview with one of the most well-known investment bank, what can I ask for more?

I hope my career path will be different from others as well. I am very certain that I want to go work in the banking industry at least at some point in my life, but I don't think I'm going to replicate the life of other bankers. I always want to be different. Success cannot be replicated, success can only be created. I always believe in this. Dropping apples on your head again won't let you to replicate the success of Newton, and if everyone can also play like Lionel Messi then he won't be special anymore. I believe I am always moving towards shaping myself into a special individual. When I look back next time, I will be glad that I never take the path commonly taken.

By now, where's my future? I believe is still in my hands.