Mockingjay in my life

The thing about watching movie is
I was usually quite carried away after the movie
Ended the 2nd last day before new year with the last hunger games movie
Not gonna create any spoiler
But I would say the movie broke my heart
& I don't like the ending at all haha

2015, as usual, highs & lows
Probably lows are more than highs
& life got more intense & challenging
But the fact learnt during this year is
I haven't become the mockingjay in my own life

What's the main quality of a mockingjay?
It shines
For me, my life had been dull enough
Especially since I left Durham
My life had been very.. stagnant, robotic
I learnt a lot, but at the same time
I lost my direction & passion in other things

Reason of yet to be unemployed
I don't shine
I am always too nervous, too conserve
Overthinking, blind follower
Maybe I overused my energy
Hence I always just feel like resting my brain

To become a mockingjay
Have to be tough, determined, motivated
On fire
Not only on fire for 3 seconds, but need to last long
I'm still trying to find myself
Shaping myself into a better person
I might still be drowning
But I'm sure I will survive,
If I'm the mockingjay

Just wanna say
"Babe, I miss you"
Not in any relationship
But to whoever that I love
Not in a cheesy way, but I truly meant it

Is time to say goodbye to 2015
& then
"Ladies & gentleman,
Welcome to the 2016 Hunger Games!"