Movies night

Watched two meaningful movies tonight...

Head off with The Martian. Actually was not planning to watch it at all, but my cousin seemed to be very interested so I was like "why not?". End up I understand why it is a good movie. I had not really watch much movies about space/ physics, but when I watch these movies, it sort of reminds me of the past three years dealing with Physics. I totally understand why I am not suitable to be an astronaut, I'm being so emotional and definitely cannot deal with do or die decision all the time. Besides the pride of going to space, being an astronaut is definitely a tough job.

Move on to the second movie after my cousin went back, somehow I felt like it is really worth it to stay up & watch it. Never regret it, impressed again by Real Steel. Although being a big fan of Hugh Jackman (Wolverine is the best) leads me to this movie, but it really touched deep into my heart. I have lost quite a bit of passion in life, but after this somehow I know I can be passionate about things, and also give it all for those that I love. Side note: I also feel like getting a boy next time, so cute! ^^

Had been very good friend with my cousin. Although technically I know her since young, we did not really interact much until she came here last year. She is more mature than I thought, maybe because she is the eldest in her family. As mentioned before, cooked for her for quite a bit, including today, but somehow I really enjoy taking care of her, & certainly the company from a person that really being very understanding and share similar interests. Yea, I took away some of my time to study for her, but I never regret it even for a second. Life can be treated differently, results & achievements are not everything, & I certainly understand what I want by now.

Well, no more classes, but for the remaining time in this country, hoping for a better me. Off to sleep! 

淡定的走

大学生涯的最后一场考试，就这样结束了。昨晚只睡了4个小时的我，其实脑子里还是有许多的不舍吧。毕竟这10个月走过来真的是挺不容易的。经历的事情比我想象中的还要多，也感觉现在的我无论样子还是心态上也有了一些改变。

今早英国退欧了。算是我意料之外的一件事吧。股市就确实是崩盘了，首相也辞职了，但基本上来说也没什么好再说的吧。今天考试也不怎么顺心，但我觉得有些时候生活就是这样，有很多事情是需要去适应的。如果事情都在被控制的范围，那人生估计也没什么挑战了。说回退欧的事，虽然现在动荡还是有的，但既然结果是这样那就只能做一些适应和改变，也希望英国能够尽快的重新整合吧。

考完试了之后，虽然没很顺心，但情绪上还是挺激动的。就像爆发了一样，想彻底的放纵。

第三次吃烤鱼，确实不错的

保龄球，已经估计超过5年没打了。今天终于有机会重拾这项运动。打了两局，第一局我可是真差，也不是没有状态，但就不怎么会打哈哈！

友谊第一

跟他们在一块，其实是我这学期最珍惜的事。虽然很多个周末都是在学校一起度过的，之后我去学校也变成是去跟他们吃饭了哈哈。学到最后这个阶段，其实成绩对我已经不再重要，因为我觉得跟他们一起学习已经值得了。

今天的伦敦，还是一样

无论身边的情况是好是坏，生活还是要过，路还是要走的。走入学习生涯的最后两个月，最后这一段学习生涯一定要好好过，不要留下任何遗憾。

久违的陪伴

“放手后 爱依然在

雪融了 就应该化开

缘若尽了 就不该再重来”

最近推荐的是周杰伦张惠妹的《不该》

https://youtu.be/_VxLOj3TB5k

下星期要考试了，照理来说最后的考试应该更加努力的准备

但我最近也就没有完全把心思放在考试上面吧

我觉得走到了这里，其实考试对我来说已经不是最重要的事情了

我觉得只要做出了努力就好吧，结果我也无法控制的

只是希望考试快点结束吧

表妹最近来住了大概一个星期

这一个星期其实算是我在这里最开心的其中一个星期吧

可能真的太久没人陪了，虽然她一直认为她打扰到我

可是我觉得反而我的小孩本性就统统显示出来了

有个人愿意吃我做的饭，其实是挺让我觉得开心的事

有个人愿意陪我看电影，也是非常开心的

有个人在身边，确实那种感觉非常不一样

她走了之后，我反而有一丝的舍不得

谢谢你

表妹做给我吃的炒饭

我煮给她的面汤

其实我觉得我有太多的层面，太多的情感

所以真正懂我的人其实不是很多

很多开心的事其实不一定要用金钱换来

平时分享的照片其实不一定只是旅行的照片

其实生活中有很多我们没察觉的事，都值得记下来的

生活的前方永远都会有乌云和深水

但我们都无法往后退

虽然沿途上我们可能会跌到水里，虽然沿途上可能会下雨

但能够这样走过去才会更加懂得珍惜

找到适合的角色

我觉得我最近还写得挺频繁的，就是有些时候经历了一些事想要记载下来，给自己留个纪念。

今天从朋友聊天的过程中领悟了很多新的事。想起了很多我在生活中的角色，感觉还是挺有感触的。前段时间，我觉得我还是挺喜欢表现一下自己的。因为一直以来，除非我表现出来，或者说除非自己有一些动静，不然我在别人的生活中可以说是透明的。有一些很想被别人认可的感觉。会去装扮自己，会去融合很多人的想法，会想要做别人眼中的焦点。久而久之，觉得其实被别人看到又怎样？别人认为我好又怎么样？其实没有多大的意义，或者说其实我不适合这一套。所以我就开始慢慢的退居了属于自己的生活形态。简单的来说，也就是做自己。宅就宅，不帅就不帅，穷就穷，无所谓的。因为我就是比较适合这样的形态出现在我自己的生活里。

当然，前段时间我也认为大家都应该像我这样，比较不那么的虚荣，不那么的装扮自己。当然这在后来的人生里，我慢慢认同这个社会还是需要这一些人的。比如说，当有些人做的决定让大家很不满的时候，一些人会出来反驳谩骂，一些人像我一样会给别人的感觉叫做事不关己。我之前觉得光投诉有啥用，当然这是错误的。有用在于让更多的人了解到这个决定的坏处，然后也能够让做错决定的人觉得以后要更加周到一些，其实对这个社会还是挺有贡献的。另一些就是比较自我保护的人，其实他们是默默的支持但是不会去煽动，他们的特点或者说角色就是用他们自身的默默的努力，以实际行动来改变。虽然他们的权力可能不怎么大，做不出一些大改变，但我觉得有很多时候还是行动比较实际一点。

我们常常看到的都是光环下的人，而不是帮助这些人得到他们的光环的人。对于现在很多的社会事件有着一些比较另类想法的我，很多时候都是以观察者的身份去分析别人怎么看怎么说。现在会说的人太多，会做的人太少。光说是可以引起共鸣，但什么都不做光说也只是纸上谈兵。人类做的每一个决定都有他自己的原因，有些事情或许得不到我们的认同，但我们也得学习去接受，因为不是说不跟我同一个观点就是错误的。生活中有些人可能是大树，有些可能只是绿叶，但无论是哪个角色，都应该去学习从对方的角度思考。

人生如戏，戏如人生。我只希望慢慢发掘适合自己的角色，然后扮演好自己的角色，那就可以了。

Purpose of life

What is life about? At the end of every single day, what am I planning to achieve? This is probably a very debatable question as everyone has different dreams and things to achieve, yet I still can't really figure out what I want.

Recently is probably the most eventful period of time. Lots of friends had finished their exams and traveling around. Flipping through social medias' posts and saw tons of pictures/ albums about traveling. Well, since I am not available to travel at this moment then will just see where people usually go. Surprisingly Croatia become a very popular place to travel to during these few years, and is one of the country that I am planning to travel to. Maybe I will go there before I leave Europe permanently? I will decide on that soon.

Friends getting into a relationship and sharing their joy while being together is quite normal. But recently I also have friends/relatives that going into marriage, got a baby, or sadly broke up. That's why is an eventful period of time, because these events kind of caused me to have some mood swings. Relationship is a topic that is very hard to define, couples that are together for a very long time does not mean that they will be together forever. For me, managing a relationship is always a very tough task, and I certainly did not excel in it in the past. Should getting into a relationship and getting married in the future be the main objective of my life?

For me, life nowadays is about learning to minimise worries and unhappiness. When I was worried about exams, job, future life etc, I tried to get rid of it by learning together with a bunch of good friends. Maybe life is more about learning, rather than achieving success? At least at this stage I have the choice not to worry too much about success or failure. Recently some friends borrowed my notes for a module that I never take, which is out of my expectation. I was always doubting myself because I am doing unnecessary things or trying to learn more, but since my effort at least manage to help other friends in the subject I think that's probably worth it. Maybe happiness can be obtained by helping people around myself, probably feels better than getting good results. At least that's my objective in life for now.

Well, need to have some stuffs to look forward to when I wake up every morning, so that I don't roll on my bed forever wasting time. Maybe by then, I will know what is the purpose of my life. 

Repetitive life

How to get rid of repetitive life? My life had been extremely repetitive, at least for the past few weeks. I usually spend my weekdays in school, because 2 - 3 of my close friends are always there, so I just feel like spending time with time by studying and having meals together. Meanwhile during weekends I usually just rot in my room, hibernating. Every weekend sleep until like, 11am, then wake up, roll in the bed until 12pm, continue trying to sleep because I am always too lazy to go to the nearby Tesco for groceries shopping. Although I know sleeping can't cure hunger, yet I still try to sleep until I really need food. What a life.

I was thinking of traveling or maybe going around during weekends, but then when I think about spending money, going alone, some more need to go so far to take train, I was like : Screw it, I just gonna rest in my room. Haha! Thought of exercising to become fitter, but end up exercising at most twice a week (Everyday tired). The only thing that I am keen/ hardworking to do is, watch movies. I believe this is a very boring life and I always tend to improve on it.

Well, life can be interesting in a lot of ways. For me, hanging out with friends will definitely be ideal. Last time I always feel that I need more alone time, but now I think I enjoy hanging out with friends gossiping and sharing about everything that is going on around us. Well, besides my very lazy manner, I also started to learn some French (Actually just sort of word matching) and I do it almost everyday. I don't think I will ever use that language in my future, but is a very good practice to learn new things everyday.

Finally finished Flash Boys by Michael Lewis last week, after reading it on my iPad for months. A very good book I will say, not technical at all, and it is basically talking about how high-frequency trading firms and banks exploit other investors, which should be known by more people to avoid being exploited. Just started to continue with my Robert Langdon series by Dan Brown last week, am currently reading the last book Inferno. Yay! Hopefully I can finish it ASAP, at least before the movie is released by the end of this year.

For the last few months here, I will probably spend my time picking up new hobbies. Although I can still do what I like back home, but there are probably certain restrictions and time constraints. Hence, I think I will appreciate the time in the UK more. Repetitive life can be interesting too, similar to adding colours to a black and white drawing. Meanwhile, let me enjoy the weekend first!

精神支撑

人类的脑袋天生就是用来思考的。其实很多我们所看到的人或事，都是由许多层面构造的。有个朋友之前跟我提及了用精神支撑这件事，其实还是从足球队利物浦看出来的。利物浦这支球队，一直都是靠着精神在打比赛。之前有队长杰拉德在的时候，都是几乎靠着队长给的精神来获胜。现在没了杰拉德，少了精神领袖，本来已经不怎么行。但换了个很有激情的教练来了之后，又是靠着精神去拼。精神到底能够撑多久呢？

想了很久之后，其实我也是靠着精神支撑的一个人。应该是大概从大学开始吧。degree前三年几乎就是靠着周杰伦，林丹，五月天支撑着过去的。其实快坚持不住的时候太多了，回想起来真的不计其数吧。但之后也都还是靠着精神撑过去了。在伦敦的这一年，接触着完全不熟悉的领域，又是靠着精神去支撑的一年。许多电影，比如说fast & furious，或者是the hunger games，都能够支撑着我一段时间，这也是为什么我喜欢看电影的原因。最近一直在看的《极限挑战II》，是我现在的精神支撑。有几集真的是，看到最后都掉眼泪了哈哈。就像《男人的事》里面的一句 “你若要我兄弟为难 我就跟你没完”。这样的主题其实是最能打动我的，所以我想我到现在还是挺...男孩的哈哈。像男孩一样，喜欢一群男孩一起拼一起玩。

从真人秀节目也让我见识到一个新偶像。他就是前几年前拿了影帝的黄渤。说真的，他的戏，我看过的也不多，到现在就也只有4部吧。那为什么他是我新偶像呢，毕竟在节目里他肯定也不会比罗志祥或张艺兴来得帅。黄渤是一个，近乎没有负面新闻的人。很多女艺人都把他当闺蜜，比如说林志玲，舒淇等等。我知道了之后其实也挺讶异的，但我也知道是为什么。因为他对其他人实在是太好了，就像一个很好的朋友一样。而且，黄渤说话实在是令我感到佩服的。不是说那种很虚伪的拍马屁，他就真的是那样的一个人，说话很自然有深度的一个人。当然，我喜欢黄渤的另外一个原因是因为，他是一个非常随和的人，这一点也算是我跟他最相似的一点，就是很多事情只要不侵犯到原则都可以很随意，很不挑的那种。人与人之间的相处，如果少一点心机多一点真诚我想真的是非常好的。

人为什么会很挑，为什么会有的时候过度自私和介意，完全是因为有选择。处理什么事情的时候都有选择，主要是因为条件好。当条件不好的时候，很多事根本就没法选择，比如说穷的时候为了填饱肚子不喜欢吃的也得吃，别人给你的衣服能穿的也是会穿。现在很多的人条件都比较好，不想吃的可以就这样不吃，想干嘛就干嘛，出去的时候也一定要是帅的美的。罗志祥帅吗？我觉得他很帅。但是为什么他可以在做节目的时候或拍电影的时候把章鱼放在头上或者说让别人砸蛋糕什么的。有些时候，我想很多没必要的这些介意，都可以放下，那样说不定生活也比较不那么的难受。

极限挑战的男人帮，谢谢你们让我再次学会了新的东西。