Actuarial? Risk?

While preparing for Matlab class test tomorrow...

Kinda got distracted..

& I'm here probably writing about some craps again

Went swimming with friend Jessica today

I know that she swims quite often, so I expect her to be good

After settling into the pool, I am totally outpaced

& I never expect myself to be that bad haha

Oh well, never swim for more than a year is probably just an excuse

While body weight increased but strength & stamina deteriorated

That's the result..

I think for every 10 laps she swam.. I probably swam 3 or 4 only

Not really from a comparison point of view, but this let me to reflect on myself as well

Conclusion: need more exercise ^^

Back to studies.. had been trying to catch up since last month

Sad to say, now still trying hard for that 

I probably feel pretty unsatisfied with the expectations on me

But I guess the truth is always cruel

Nobody will give you time

If the learning curve is a vertical straight line, have to do it as well

If things are easy probably won't appreciate that much as well

This kind of dilemma always exists...

As usual, forget more things as time goes by,

Today even forgot to bring my Oyster card..

Need to find some way to become younger xD

Discussed a bit of future career path with friend recently

Am I going back to insurance? Hmmmm....

Going back to actuarial? Hmmmm....

That's probably the slightly easier path, compare to risk management

Gets whatever work-life balance that most of the people are looking for

But yea, might as well take risk now I guess.

Just need to believe chances are equally distributed and fair

Like a coin, or a die

我不敢休息，因為我沒有存款 <－－文章

今早看了一篇文章，觉得还挺不错的

http://www.cmoney.tw/notes/note-detail.aspx?nid=41698

里面的几句话，还蛮喜欢的

“我能放弃选择，但是我不能选择放弃”

我想很多时候我们都需要放弃一些选择

毕竟地球终究不是绕着自己转的

通常这样的时候还是特别难受和失落的

但可能要到四面楚歌的时候，才能明白不能选择放弃的意思吧

因为当时已经没有其他选择了，比较能义无反顾的杀出一条血路

“世上没有一件工作不辛苦，没有一处人事不复难”

如果在今年之前问我，我应该是不太认同

但经历了那么多之后，我想还真的没有一件工作是不辛苦的

我想辛不辛苦很多时候还是自己心里的衡量吧

如果是适合的，再辛苦也都会是不辛苦的

人事往往是最困难的，也是最难应对的

因为不是每个人都懂你，所以很多不懂你的人都会对你存着不满

慢慢觉得这样的现象也是挺正常了

以前还会去试图改变，但现在不会了

我想每个人都有选择喜欢还是讨厌你的权利

庆幸的是，现在还不至于活在勾心斗角的生活中

“越努力越幸运”

这句话，还真的不知道怎么去定义

《飘移》里那句 “运气从来就不在我这里”

我想还是说得挺对的

有些事情，不去奢望比较好

我想努力之后，就算失败，也是值得的吧

不过在一些事情上，还是希望能够幸运一些

如果这句话应验的话，我想大家就一起努力吧

亲子

最近一直在看部剧，朋友介绍的
虽然没什么时间看，虽然也只看了一点，但还是学到挺多的
很多事情，很值得去思考吧
我想，亲子关系还真的挺复杂的

很多父母呢，都习惯的把自己的梦想，放到孩子身上去
如果跟孩子的梦想吻合的话，那就很好了
但如果孩子不喜欢呢，那关系可能变得不是那么好吧
望子成龙望女成凤
很多人都是这么想的吧

从兴趣到学习，其实很多事都不太是自己决定的
直到长大了以后，可能20之后吧，才开始自己决定一些事
可是有些事，也不是自己能决定的吧
不是自己决定的事，往往会让人不太开心
可是我想如果心态换了，也不至于讨厌吧

希望孩子成功，快乐
可是很多时候因为追求着所谓的成功，逐渐失去了快乐
得到所谓的成功时，或许已经不再快乐了
有些时候盲目的追求也不是好事
我想能够做自己是幸福的

在亚洲这样一个生活环境下
很多时候大家不一定会选到自己想要的
很大的因素其实就是因为钱
不过那是一个事实吧，无法改变的事实
薪水低，又没什么津贴的话，几乎不太可能生存
但我想真的是没办法改变吧
只希望之后的孩子能够有更多的选择
或者说可以选择，选择自己喜欢的

Appreciating the past & present

If I am still in Durham
I will be attending DUMAS event tonight
Instead of coming back to study after dinner
Oh well, at least I still had dinner with best mate from Durham
It somehow makes me feel better to have close friend by your side again

It has been a while since I settled down here
Although life in Imperial is quite challenging,
I guess the thing I miss most is about the people around
I was thinking of finding the same kind of friendliness here,
particularly among people from my home country
But, meh, can't really get along that well
More like always have to show the not genuine smile every single time
I guess everyone has been a bit more reserved nowadays
Maybe is the kiasu-ism here, or maybe I am just out of their age range

Now I speak proper Mandarin almost everyday
Converting to mainland Chinese? Not really
But I guess I found that they are more genuine towards me
As a friend
Is probably because they do not need anything from me now
Or even they need any help from me in the future
I am absolutely fine with that
At least I can relax and make friends without any beneficiary issues
That's probably what I hope for, at this moment of time

Well, life goes on
Just gonna say, I am not boycotting people from my own country
Slap whoever that says so, you probably do not understand me enough
Appreciating the past, & the present

恢复好心态

这个星期开始了比较艰难的课程
接下来就是小考和交作业了
其实现在还是感觉非常吃力的
要赶上大家的进度还真是不容易啊
有的时候真的需要更多的思考和努力吧

几天前简直就是近乎崩溃
压力太大了一时之间真的没办法调整过来
大半夜的还想着找东西来出气一下
还好之后也就继续忙着总算心态比较好了
忙碌真的是很多事情的解药吧
根本就没时间去想太多有的没的

基本上已经放弃了IBD
IBD讲究的是速度，机智，高效
我刚好都没有，所以就，算了
现在只想毕业之后找份工
在哪里，薪水高低已经不是直接重要了
暂时已经无法追求了
想着现在几乎没有周末的日子
还真的不太适合我

心态真的很重要吧
它能够让你前进
能坚持到现在，其实也是因为很多人的影响
周杰伦，林丹，五月天，刘德华
还有《新兵日记》和《fast & furious》
等等等等的
其实没有这些，真的没办法坚持
想了想
还是会培养好心态坚持下去吧
辛苦是正常的
只要努力，只要坚持，就算是笨小孩也一样有机会

Culture shock?

Taken a step back today, to set my direction again
I actually slow down myself a bit recently
It is not because there is no passion or enthusiasm anymore
But sometimes you just don't know where it will lead to

After a month here, I probably have mix feelings towards this university
Well, you can probably say that Imperial is better than Durham in world ranking
Or whatsoever rankings that people always discussed about
But I do not think the people here are as genuine & truthful towards you
I was actually planning to mix better with the Malaysians here
(Since there are more Malaysians here compare to the small town that I used to be)
But now I kind of withdrawn, do not even want to pay for the society's membership haha
I guess people here are just different
U can easily get people that got 4A*'s in their A-levels, tons of JPA scholars
They might be excellent in academic, but we just don't click well
难道就一定要一直戴着帝国大学的光环吗？

I guess my class is very well spread, between the super rich & normal
A lot of them are just smarter than I am
& most of them learnt before most of the things
But still, I don't see the point of purposely sat at the front and slept there
Or leave halfway just because the lecture was boring
That's probably the main reason why I don't want to be a lecturer
Now loads of students are like prince & princess..
& whenever something doesn't suit them, they complain, complain & complain.
Even though sometimes they complain about pointless stuffs.
Literally wanna slap the couple that are laughing & joking loudly behind me during lecturer
屌你你以为你很犀利咩？酱拽 =.=

The difference between rich & poor kids are so obvious nowadays
I guess Warren Buffett is true, to pass on the knowledge but not the money
To pass on the attitude but not the money
I might be the one that is getting a culture shock in London
Is more like, when you represent Durham, nobody wanna talk to you
But when you are in London, they will say you are one of them aka Londoners
Sorry I don't think I am like one of you guys
Just because I see the difference, the skeptical judgement towards non-Londoners
Not only students from Oxbridge, London, Manchester & Liverpool are smart =.=
When you are posting all these equal rights thingy on Facebook
should probably reflect on yourself, & treat people equally first before anything

First return to Canley

How's Warwick without Kritz?
Is actually a question that is not seriously asked
But I have been thinking about it during my train journey back to London today
& I will say, it is really different.

I will probably never forget my yearly visit to Canley
It meant a lot to me I guess.
The first time in Westwood, having dinner with new friends (Melissa & Sabina)
& then had another dinner with Mark & Chris & friends.. Took the shuttle with Pei as well
I am definitely very fortunate to meet Kritz & friends in Warwick
& they are just like, a lovely family.

Although only Kritz was there during my visit in 2nd year,
but during my visit this year, finally all of them were there.
From the omelette for breakfast, to the lovely dinner of nachos & cheesecake made by Kritz,
it was just, brilliant. Sometimes I wish my stay in Durham was like that as well.

Today, is my first return to Canley since Kritz left.
Different purpose this time, was to visit my sister
I got my family member there, which is very lovely
& I should appreciate it as well
but at the same time, I think there is something that I miss.

When I entered 4A Kirby Corner Road,
everything in the house seemed to be the same.
The only difference is,
Kritz, Mark, Melissa, Jean are all not there already,
luckily Pei is still staying there, if not I wouldn't have the chance to go back as well.
Time flies, but I do appreciate & miss the people during my past 3 visits to this peaceful town.

I will be back to Canley again soon, I think
In the future the experience here won't be the same compared to the past 3 years.
But I will treasure the times with every one of them
Thanks to Kritz, definitely, & also to Mark, Melissa, Jean & Pei.

找工

5天4个考试
这基本概括了我下个星期的行程
来了一个月，生活节奏就像快速火车一样
几乎每一天都重复做着一样的事
老实说自己的时间也越来越少了
就算有的话也是没力去享受了

话说回来这个学校真是
让我开始想要炮轰
那个workshop我天天查
就跟我天天都是all slots filled
神马东西！！
然后一些event刚开不到5分钟就要上waiting list
真的是。。。无语

时代真的不一样了
除了申请工作的事特别的烦人之外
去event的时候也挺烦人的
虽然遇到一个马来西亚的
应该要称为uncle
却似乎，怎么也链接不上
感觉真的很不一样吧
人家生活在英国家庭在澳洲
还曾经在美国念了个MBA
我就算了哈哈
可能那些都不是我要的东西吧
下星期开始申了啦！